Believe in the Flowers.

Carol of the Zombie Jesus!

We had spent the last couple of days planning what today would be like. It's our ninth anniversery, after all - nine long years ago today, we started "going out". I was originally going to post something long, thoughtful, and insightful, but for now I'm going to suspend that post for something a bit more cynical and realistic. Today calls for it.


This morning we woke up blissfully knowing that it would be the last night we would spend on the dreadful air mattress that has been, in one form or another, our only sleeping arrangement since June of last year. Two fat people and a very squirmy, space-hog of a toddler do not belong on one single queen sized air mattress, and this new mattress was the whole reason The Kid has a skull fracture in the first place. We were told it would be in last Thursday or Friday; when Saturday came with no news, Husband called the store and asked when we could expect it. We were told today, somewhere between 4 and 5 PM without a doubt. I became understandibly cynical when 4:30 rolled around with no new information, and my concern was justified when I called the store at about 5 to inquire as to the status of our $800 some odd investment. I was told that the delivery van was just heading back from a city about 45 minutes away and it would be upwards of another hour before our mattress was brought to us - but, of course, not to worry because it would be here tonight. I felt bad for calling and asking, but at least I got some semblance of reassurance that everything will be in order, given time.

That isn't the worst part of today, though. We were going to go to a sushi place in town - not that I can eat the stuff, but Husband won't eat sushi either and instead boasts about their teriyaki chicken - and then come home and watch a movie ("Zack & Miri Make A Porno") and then, with The Kid at my mother's house, hopefully get to christen our new bed. I know, perhaps a lot of information for those with sensitive imaginations, but it's the damn truth and I'm not ashamed - for once! - to say it. 

Only, it rained today, meaning my mother is none too keen on watching said Kid because of the numerous leakage problems her house has. On top of that, this morning Husband partook (partaked?) in our orange juice and for some reason has since been suffering the ill side effects of what seems to be food poisoning. The juice is gone, as is the rinsed-out Snapple tea bottle he was using, but he has thrown up at least once and has had numerous other stomach problems all day that have basically ruled out any hope of our enjoying our anniversery evening beyond at least being able to sit at home.

I think that this sums up nine years of a relationship rather well: you can't predict 99% of it and can plan all you want, but somehow fate will find a way to mess things up sufficiently enough to make you question your sanity.

Like making you watch "Pat the Bunny" for hours on end.