Believe in the Flowers.

Carol of the Zombie Jesus!

So as absolutely none of you know, I've spent the last few days (according to Colin it's more like five or so) struggling with an earache. I am notorious for ear problems: when I was younger I had many ear infections and suffered from ruptured eardrums (a problem that can and usually does lead to hearing problems and deafness) like nobody's business. Somewhere between the ages of three and five, I had tubes put in both ears. Ever since I have gotten an earache every couple of years, although last year I ended up with three consecutive and rather unpleasant middle ear infections although I only had one of them treated (the first I ignored, the second got treated, and the third was privy to having me use the same drops I was given for the second infection). This is because I am a stubborn bitch. I am aware of this. I freely admit this.

So today I finally got off of my rear and after Colin got off work we went to the ER, since I no longer have a doctor (thank you, Medicaid). And since everywhere else was closed, and I was tired of hurting. It was odd, in that whenever I burped or stretched, I would get a sharp, shooting pain in my ear. As of about two days ago, it had become an almost constant, dull pain that had spread into my neck, making me feel generally stiff and unhappy. So, yes, we went to the ER, and surprisingly enough we were in and out in about an hour and a half, tops, which was a very nice and unusual change. I'm not complaining. I think it helped that we went in at about 10:30 PM on a Thursday night - so be sure to plan your Quincy ER visits for about this time and you should be okay. Anyway, we go in, and the doctor - who, mind you, was very very polite and nice - informs me that, well, there isn't anything they can do (and if I come up with a cure, I should let him know, and I will probably end up very rich). Apparently I now suffer from Eustachian tube dysfunction, the type where the tube doesn't open as it should. The directions on my release forms read as follows: "Nasocort [which is a nasal steroid] 2 sprays twice day - cont with Zyrtec [one of my allergy medicines] chew gum as needed." YES THAT'S RIGHT. I have been instructed by a physician to chew gum. So, basically, this is "take your allergy medicine, get a nasal spray, chew some gum and pray to God that your ears pop and that it actually does some good sometime soon."

Kind of makes me want to cry.

So now I get to go take some Tylenol and some Zyrtec. Tomorrow I'll go to Walgreen's and procure the Nasocort, although I'm not a huge fan of snorting ANYTHING so we'll see how long that lasts. Also, my blood pressure was 130/73, which I think is kind of high. But I'm overweight, stressed, and high blood pressure runs in my family. As does heart disease. One would think that this combination of things would make me want to change something about how I live, but it turns out that I am a fat, lazy American, and therefore am probably entitled to die of a heart attack before I hit 50. I really kind of hope that doesn't happen, though - I've sworn to myself to make it to at least 100. That would be awesome.

In other news, I get to go to orientation at Hy-Vee at 10 AM on Saturday. To work in the kitchen. It's great, and I'm not nervous, because if something happens and they screw me over on, oh, anything, it's a second job so I can quit without feeling too guilty. And it means a new shirt. I am all about new shirts.