Believe in the Flowers.

Carol of the Zombie Jesus!

Yes, that's right - my spam folder is taunting me.

I check my email obsessively for no reason and often find a menagerie of messages in my lovely spam box. They range from promises of online degrees in strange fields of study in only a couple of months, to claims of wonder products that will miraculously "enlarge" my "member" in one use, to promises of MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY like one of the messages I just deleted (of course, I'm smart enough to know that the real messages would have said it eight times, not seven).

The problem are these emails that promise financial stability, government grants to repay debts, and new work-at-home jobs that provide thousands of dollars every paycheck.

Granted, I realize these are simple hoaxes created either to make sure your account is real so companies can send you more spam, or phishing emails meant to gather sensitive personal information to steal a person's money or identity. I know this, but it doesn't make me feel any better to delete it when I know all too well the situation we're in financially. What if one of those messages was real, and actually helpful, and would have meant fixing all of our problems without having to worry? What if I've just deleted the answer to all of our issues, getting ahead in our bills, not having to worry about how we would pay the bills? There are so many "what if" scenerios attached to my fears that it isn't funny - and I don't know what to do about it.


Meanwhile, Gabe is walking, our rebate check won't be coming until late June or July, I still don't have a job, bad weather is coming hardcore, Mom's house is falling apart, I need to clean, and .. I'm so depressed. I can only hope things start looking up soon.