Believe in the Flowers.

Carol of the Zombie Jesus!

And I guess I apologize for that. I have to go soon, too, so this will undoubtedly be a rather short post. But still!

Here I am.

The last couple of days have been really rough around here. We're being constantly reminded that we're in the midst of a financial crisis and that we don't have enough money for everything, never mind the fact that it is seeming more and more likely that we won't be able to go to Maine like we were hoping at the end of the month (or thereabouts). This has understandably disheartened Col, who was looking forward to seeing his two remaining grandparents (both of his grandfathers) and showing off Gabe to the more ill of the two. We were really looking forward to seeing his parents again, of course, and both of his sisters and his nephews and niece. Oh, and his best friend. You know, absolutely everyone that has any meaning to him. The fact that this much-anticipated and promised trip might not be happening (in fact, probably won't be happening now) has really gotten him down, and the financial pressure we're feeling from every angle has made things that much more difficult to handle.

Thankfully, spring is making a comeback, so at least the weather is trying to cheer us up.

The last couple of days were disgustingly chilly, both in the daytime and at night. We had a freeze warning at one point, and while I never saw any frost, I don't doubt that it happened. It was so cold that we were forced to shut the windows and turn the heat back on, which can kind of make you grumpy when it's almost May. I guess I shouldn't complain, though; when you live in Tornado Alley you'd almost always rather have cold weather than the other end of the spectrum. But that didn't make us feel any better about the fact that it was FREAKING COLD. I couldn't even wear sandals, God.

Add to it that I've still not yet managed to find a job, and that Gabe has wanted Col and nobody else recently, and that has made for one hell of a grumpy husband. The days have been difficult here as Col has put his asshat back on (ha ha ha) and has, by early afternoon or thereabouts, turned into a total dick. I can't really blame him, and I'm not about to fault him for it, but it makes living in an already difficult situation that much worse. I've been trying my best to ignore my exhaustion and have begged here and there for a day to sleep in, but I intend on trying to give Col more time alone and more time without the baby - and time to sleep - so he maybe feels like things are okay to an extent.

I could go on a rant about irresponsibility, and how he doesn't actually take responsibility for himself or any of his problems, but at this point it would be useless. It won't change him, or the fact that he is still in truth a very immature person.

So now, I have go to - Col has to be to work soon and Gabe needs .. A lot. Sigh.