Believe in the Flowers.

Carol of the Zombie Jesus!

Tonight I'm posting from my mother's laptop. It's a horrible conglomeration of stupidity, an Acer creation that Never Should Have Been. It's running Vista - I use the word "running" very loosely here - even though it barely meets the minimum requirements to do so. It's slow and unreliable, and I blame that on the fact that this is a Wal-Mart creation.

In the front room, my mother is getting impatient (as usual) with Gabe. He doesn't deserve it - he's tired! - but she's an impatient person. Always has been. She has always been a lot of things, but I don't think I'll get into that right now.

My duty is to "make the printer work". I have been informed that it doesn't work because "the webpage is bad", not because the ink is probably low or the cartridges are faulty (which is what the current printing job looks like). I am wrong, obviously.. Which is funny, because I'm supposed to fix it. I'm thinking about telling her that the Internet is broken.

Yesterday was a day of extreme knee pain. My left knee proved itself mostly dysfunctional around midday, and I couldn't go up or down stairs - or get out of the car - without wincing and having to limp. By the end of the night, bending it too quickly produced the same sensation, along with a disturbing "pop" that wasn't there before. Not to imply that my knees didn't pop before - they have since junior high - but this is a new pop, a more distinct sound. And of course, you know why this is happening as much as I do. It's because I'm overweight. My body can't handle the stress that I'm putting it through and as such is reacting the way nature has made it to: it is breaking down. I'm a weak link in the food chain, and even though I'm only 21, my body is trying to give in.

Naturally, this means that it's time for a change. So wish me luck.

Meanwhile, tomorrow is my first wedding anniversery. No idea yet what we're going to do, past go out to dinner at some point, and maybe meet my in-laws for breakfast in Hannibal. They leave to go back home on Sunday, probably in the evening, and I'm going to miss them - and I'm ashamed to admit that I'm going to miss the hotel too. Not because it's amazing, but because of the pool and hot tub. For someone like me that's a great source of free exercise, and I'm going to be hurting without it. Not that I won't live. I just can't afford to sign up at the Y or anything, so for now, we go without. But this is nothing new.

The bank account was supposed to close today. Thankfully, it didn't. It's still open and the insurance ($180) is paid - now for the phone bill ($20), the car payment ($450ish), rent ($350), and whatever else. Groceries will have to wait. We also still own AT&T some $120 on top of the next bill and I'm worried that they're going to disconnect our cell phones soon. Usually my mother covers all of the cell phone bill, but she has recently been asking us for more money that we don't have to start paying on it ourselves - and she knows that. Never mind that we bought her a new phone and our own new phones when we were able, never mind everything we already pay ... I shouldn't get bitter like this, I know. It won't help anything.

Gabe is so close to walking now that it isn't even funny. His birthday was last Saturday - did I already mention that? He's so big .. So old .. It's hard to think that a year ago this week I was still in the hospital after having him home for no more than 24 hours. We had to go back because he was so severely jaundiced. Not a good time. But the memories have already faded for us, and he certainly doesn't remember. I don't even think he remembers his shots at the beginning of the week..

At his appointment on Wednesday they said that he was 22lbs 12oz and 29.5 inches long. Impressive, no? I honestly think that he lost weight, but he still eats like a pig and he's incredibly active. I shouldn't be surprised. I don't think that I am.

After Col's off work at 9 PM, we get to go swimming again. Yay!