Believe in the Flowers.

Carol of the Zombie Jesus!

This whole "raising a kid" thing is way more difficult than they'd have you think.

Magazines, books, websites, friends - they all warn you that you're going to be up late and early and all hours in between, that a child will eat you out of house and home and mean millions of dollars over a lifetime invested into clothes, diapers, wipes, soaps, foods, bottles, and all sorts of dorky accessories (like cribs - what a crock). You buy toys that they'd rather have the boxes of, crib sheets they'll poop on, pretty diapers with characters on them that they'll never see, special bottle brushes (like they give a damn), and everything under the sun, only to pitch or give away 90% of it (we don't have the space to save a lot). They warn you that as your child grows they'll tell you "no" in response to every question or demand, that they'll backtalk you and ignore you even when you're trying to stop them from doing something dangerous. They'll throw their food at you and then refuse to eat, they'll make you wonder if they're really getting enough nutrition to keep you going, they'll destroy everything within reach (and some stuff that isn't). They lack the common sense of an adult, so you learn quickly that there are certain things you would never think of as a health hazard that are downright deadly to a baby that doesn't know any better. They'll tease you with attempts at crawling, walking, self-feeding, and talking, but wait until you aren't in the room or aren't paying attention to take those first few vital steps. Or, worse, they'll wait until you aren't around at all and they're with a relative or babysitter to do something crucial you wish you would have seen. They'll make you cry and rip your hair out, make you wish you had never bothered to get up and dressed in the morning, make you wonder why you bothered going to bed only to not sleep. They'll demand your constant unwavering attention without giving you anything in return. They'll convince you that, really, you shouldn't have bothered being born, because it was kind of a waste in the long run, silly you for bothering.

And then they'll smile or giggle or say "Dada" or "Mama" or hug you and suddenly the clouds will part and the sun will shine and life is worth living again.

Don't you hate that?


Hi, I was just browsing blogs when I stumbled into yours...and is it that one little precious baby smile can make you forget all those other things!?!